Do You Hide From People You Recognize?
That’s a tough question, now isn’t it? I’ll repeat it so it can settle in a bit. Do you find yourself hiding from people?
I was on a walk yesterday afternoon and I was strolling through my office park trying to clear my mind. I rounded a bend on the walking trail, the sun was blazing down on me, and I walked right by someone I definitely knew. Here’s the kicker. This guy knew me too. He is a smart man. I think he is a computer programmer, so he definitely has the capacity for recognition. As we passed, neither one of us broke stride. We just kept on walking. Do you do the same thing?
Why do we avoid people? It’s too much work.
I can’t help but wonder why I do this. My first guess is that we avoid people because we dislike social awkwardness. It takes effort to come up with something to say. It also takes effort to remember how we know someone. That is simply effort that we don’t want to give. It is too much work and so we avoid it. The chance encounter fades into history and we experience a combined feeling of relief and guilt. Maybe that’s just me, but I’m guessing I’m not alone.
It could take too much time.
Yep, we like our time. We like to control our time. My second reasonable explanation for why we avoid contact is that it takes too much time. Really it goes back to the point above about being lazy, but it also gets at a selfish aspect and that is we love our time. If we stop, God only knows how long it will take. If we stop, God only knows what we will have to discuss. Since we don’t stop, God is probably shaking his head in disbelief and setting us up for our next chance encounter.
My Parents Did It
So here’s a dirty little secret that will probably embarrass two people I love dearly. My parents used to avoid people all the time. Sorry you two! We would see someone in the store and I would immediately be ushered into a different isle. We would recognize someone walking our direction at a baseball game and miraculously head in another direction because we forgot something or we needed to check something out in another area of the complex. Heck, I can remember people ringing our doorbell and we acted like we weren’t home. I believe the explanation centered around security and the unknown, but it’s a general approximation for sure.
Coming Clean
Now to come clean, I do the same thing to my boys today. If I see someone, and I determine in my little pea brain that I think I should avoid them and it seems like I can make it happen, then I’ll do it. I say this as I bite my hand in embarrassed disgust. I do it a lot. Maybe I am saving some of you from having to talk to me, but that’s definitely not the reason I do it. I am a self-centered, lazy, socially awkward person who would rather let it pass. There is always another time. At least that’s what I tell myself.
I am sorry to all of you who I have avoided. My day of judgement will surely come. In the meantime, keep a lookout for me and don’t let me make that mistake if you can help it. We will both be better off for stopping and saying hello.
